Is setting boundaries your forte or your downfall?

I just read a few social media posts talking about boundaries...how in corporate and tech, you’ll get eaten alive if you don’t look out for yourself. 

About how boundaries can create “clarity and respect, allowing relationships to thrive.”

These are important topics, definitely easier said than done.

As a parent of a child with a complex medical condition, setting boundaries is a more slippery slope than even doing that on your job.

When your child's in the care of others— at school, receiving therapy, or even getting respite care while you (supposedly) decompress— boundaries and advocacy are a high stakes matter. 

Your child’s at the mercy of others.

So when something needs change, advocacy may have consequences you might not want to risk. 

You worry about what might happen behind your back, because you’re a squeaky wheel.

Will the provider take their frustration out with YOU—your ideas and requests—on your child? 

Even parents of non special needs kids may falter and not speak their minds around their child’s needs. 

Sometimes we hold back until a clear red line’s been crossed. 

And even then, options for alternatives may be few and far between so we leave things status quo. 

Many parents of special needs kids are between a rock and a hard place. 

And, improving communication skills is a tactic that’s always available. 

It impacts your ability to wield influence and gain more control over your situation. 

When advocating to get your child’s needs met, it reduces risk (pushback from speaking out) and increases the likelihood of getting more.

• Books on mediation help people learn to communicate better. 
  • Marshall Rosenberg’s book —Nonviolent Communication— is a seminal work on communication in stressful situations. (His method’s now a movement.)
  • Stuart Diamond’s book —Getting More— provides a different (and superior) model than other conflict negotiation books. (It’s why Colombia achieved a signed peace accord between the FARC and government in 2016–they used his method.)

While you may well be between a rock and a hard place, leveling up your communication skills is freely available.

What’s your favorite book on or tactic for effective communication?

 —Julie