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A day in the life of a special needs family

Uncategorized Jun 19, 2025



Sharing this insightful Facebook post from Real Life Foster Mom Chelsea to raise awareness about continuing needs for advocacy and programs for kids with special needs. 

https://www.facebook.com/share/16ixHasY8n/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Sometimes, it’s really hard being a special needs parent & it’s not my kids that make it that way. It’s the constant, exhausting fighting & advocating to get their basic needs met.

Advocating for schools to follow laws that you literally have to explain to them. đŸ€ŻÂ 

Fighting insurance companies to approve treatments our doctors already prescribed. 💊 

Fighting to get medical supplies & equipment maintenance & wheelchair repairs.đŸŠœÂ 

Advocating for hospitals to make decisions that help my child. đŸ„Â 

Begging for doctors to sign paperwork that has been sitting in their inbox for over a week. 📝 

Heck even handicap spots aren’t safe because someone without a placard decided they were just going to park there “real quick while they run inside” for a half hour. 🚙 

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A story where truth is stranger than fiction

Uncategorized Jun 17, 2025



Since starting to think about unexpected identity loss a few years ago I hadn’t yet thought about twins and what happens when they’re separated.

In my book I have an adoptee’s story. It’s pretty easy to think about identity loss under those circumstances.

That’s the closest similarity to the story I heard last night on a Netflix documentary — dealing with unanswerable questions about the life that could have been


I’ll need to watch the documentary quite a few more times to actually get the story straight because:

  1. It is mind blowing and mind boggling

and

  1. It’s really complicated trying to keep up with who is who throughout the film.

This is because it’s a story about two sets of identical twins that get mixed up in the hospital and both sets lose one sibling to the other family.

The documentary is shot nine years after Jorge, Carlos, William, and Wilber meet each other, so lots of time to assimilate reality.

They met because of 
 a trip to a butcher’s shop in Bogotá, Co...

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Independence is a fallacy

Uncategorized Jun 16, 2025



The federal government has created a monolithic state of uncertainty as it changes so many systems we depend on.

This immediately trickles down to fiscal planning and legal quagmires at state, county, and other local levels, down to our own families’ ability to budget and plan.

As always, demographic groups are impacted differently with the underserved being inordinately impacted.

Families with a child with special needs is one of these groups.

They’ve fought tooth-and-nail for every law and budget line item that supports their needs.

Every month.
Of every year.
Continually.

  • And in today’s governmental chaos, protecting services addressing their needs is more necessary than ever.

But many of these families are already stretched well beyond their limits and advocacy actions may be next to impossible to fit into their schedules.

Things like attending school board and city council meetings.

State or federal budget hearings.

Email and phone call campaigns.

  • This is where alli
  • ...
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When’s it okay to cut ties?

Uncategorized Jun 15, 2025

When’s it okay to cut ties with people?

— When you want to live by design rather than default.

— When you’re no longer settling for life on autopilot.

This is when it’s important to free yourself from beliefs, habits, and people that don’t align with this new version of you and what you're building.

It’s a chance to ask:

  •  “Which connections no longer serve me?”

Then act on the answers.

Every relationship will have its unique factors to assess.

And there can be a shifting of degrees of connectedness vs ending a relationship all together.

But even before a contemplative assessment you’ll have answers about some.

Those with whom you feel worse rather than better after encounters.

Relationships where, on balance, you feel

Drained.

Criticized.

Belittled.

Undermined.

Ignored.

These are the no brainer changes you’ve been putting off.

Cutting ties to these is probably best, whatever the cost.

And because other relationships are more nuanced

and your needs are unique t...

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Patience is Power

Uncategorized Jun 14, 2025



Patience was what amazed me most on my job as a medical social worker for kids receiving specialty medical care.

Patience on the part of the child who spoke very VERY slowly due to conditions like cerebral palsy.


While knowing that the speed of the child’s thoughts were not reflected in the speed of delivery, that her thinking was the same speed as mine


Or the ones who couldn’t speak with their voice at all, communicating only by facial expression and pointing to pictures or letters of the alphabet on their wheelchair tray.

..
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And those who didn’t have the ability to use their hands to point AND couldn’t annunciate in intelligible ways, but whose cognition was still sharp as a tack.

..
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The ones who struggled to get every bit of food off their plate and into their mouth while so much never made it there.

..
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Those who walked with a wobbly gait, looking like they would definitely fall over with each and every step, even WITH their crutches.

And those who didn’t need crut...

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Big SCOTUS win for disabled students!

Uncategorized Jun 13, 2025

Yesterday, June 12, 2025, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously in A.J.T. v. Osseo Area Schools—a major victory for students with disabilities.

The Court clarified that schools đ™˜đ™–đ™Łđ™Łđ™€đ™© make it harder for disabled kids to seek justice.

  • Previously, families in some states had to prove “bad faith or gross misjudgment” by schools—a nearly impossible standard.

Now, they only need to show “deliberate indifference”, the same as any other disability case.

This change levels the legal playing field.

  • It ensures students with disabilities can get proper accommodations without jumping through extra hoops.

Chief Justice Roberts emphasized that dealing with daily challenges shouldn’t come with more legal barriers.

Schools across the country will now need to be extra attentive—or face more accountability.

For parents fighting for fair access to education, this is a BIG deal.

https://www.reuters.com/.../us-supreme-court-bolsters.../

—Julie 

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When you lose control

Uncategorized Jun 12, 2025

One of the most painful aspects of a catastrophic medical diagnosis is loss of control.

With so many unknowns and so much new, disruptive stuff to deal with and fit your life around, any sense of control may feel completely out of reach.

This is where my friend Yomi’s seemingly rote mantra comes into play:

  • “When the going gets tough the tough get going.”

He said that to me when I was struggling with statistics in graduate school.

For it’s under duress that we find strength we didn’t know we had.

When we have the chance to find our full power and take it back.

You don’t become superhuman, you become fully human.

You’re able to find peace in the eye of the storm.

And as we struggle, using our power in the moment, we’re also healing past wounds.

Because healing only happens after the fact.

What I’ve found from clients and podcast guests is this:

  • It was only when great tragedy struck that they summoned up their best.

In dealing with the present they also changed thin...

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Peace Place—Preventing child abuse, one respite episode at a time

Uncategorized Jun 11, 2025

3,232 total individual episodes of respite provided in 2023—

I’ve written a lot about the need for support that families with kids with special needs have.

And a little directly talking about the high risk for abuse these kids are under.

If you’re the generous type (and I believe you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this post) and you have some financial wiggle room, I’m asking you to look into PEACE PLACE and consider giving a donation.

They just had their annual fundraiser.

  • They provide FREE RESPITE services for parents and caregivers of children with medical or neurodiverse needs.

They say they’re just “scratching the surface of the number of families in [their] region who have children with special needs.”

They add:

“We know how prevalent child abuse and neglect are in our region, and we also know that families who have a child with some sort of diagnosis (medical or developmental) are even more likely to suffer from these crimes.

  • Peace Place is on the forefr
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When listening and saying nothing is perfect support

Uncategorized Jun 10, 2025



“Sometimes we just need to sit with people in the mud, and make sure they feel seen, heard and supported.”

—Allan Kehler

Got this quote from a LinkedIn post.

For allies of special needs families, know that many of their problems are insurmountable.

There are no fixes.

Fixes that could exist (such as in service systems) will take longer than they should, if they ever happen at all.

A parent today was asking a special needs attorney if there’s a way to do an emergency appeal, since the appeals system for her child’s educational needs is so bogged down


A child’s physical, cognitive, and emotional statuses may or may not change.

Things might even get worse.

I just talked with a mom who’d adjusted well to her child’s initial condition, only to have a brand new condition arise.

This put Mom back at square one in the puzzle of what their lives will become.

  • It’s hard to feel helpless while your friend or family member is suffering.

But trying to change the subject or turn realit...

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The Answer Dispenser

Uncategorized Jun 09, 2025



“In the silence of your mind, your heart will deliver the answers you seek.”

—Julie Browne

This is the last sentence of my book Masters of Change.

A book for people navigating waters they’re not prepared for.

Making decisions about things they never intended to deal with.

Needing answers to things they never imagined.

Because a catastrophic event changed their lives forever.

People who’ve lost their rudder to who they are and where they’re going.

And don’t have the option to stay where they are.

Whose only choice is to keep moving forward, even when not knowing which direction is forward.

—.—

If you were in that boat, what would this sentence mean to you, or what does it instruct you to do?

—Julie

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