Dearest Little Julie,
Just about a year ago was the last time I waved goodbye to my mom. Today I want to tell you about Big sadness. I bet you feel sad when you hear about people dying - in wars, in accidents, from diseases, especially from murders, or just from getting old.
Everything in your life will change when it's someone in your family who dies. It's really different than just hearing about others. At first, you might feel like dying too. It's really weird how different it is when it happens to someone you know. It's like a HUGE hole opens up inside you and around you, and there's no way around it or through it. There's just this emptiness. You're SO sad, that feelings aren't even enough to feel how sad you feel. Because you can never see them again, and you miss them, and there's not way to change that. And there's regret - feeling mad at yourself for all the conversations you didn't have, and all the things you wished you'd done for them.
I hope you never have to feel like this for a long, long time. And if you do, just know you'll learn how to feel better. It takes time, and you will get better. And, if you have a friend who's feeling like this, I hope this letter helps you understand a little bit about what's going on. Maybe you can help, by telling them you know it's just way too hard for them right now.
Don't try to make things better. Just sit and listen, and do whatever you can to help them keep talking and crying. That's the help they need, not to help them stop crying, but to help them keep crying. After a while they'll stop crying on their own. They need someone safe to cry with. They don't need to figure out how to make things better. Because there is no better right now. There's only sadness. And that's okay.