Not every catastrophic event causes trauma
I heard an interview with a man who’s blind.
In grade school he got a condition making him go progressively blind.
Most of the interview focused on adaptive equipment and technology which expands individual potential in incalculable ways.
- What fascinated me was the absence of psychoemotional trauma.
Getting a catastrophic medical diagnosis generally causes trauma and grief in the individual and other family members.
This is especially true for parents since they’re able to see the full ramifications.
For siblings, the diagnosis may or may not be traumatic based in part on timing.
For a child, if they’re born with the condition and don't know what they lost because they never had it, the diagnosis has a significant but different impact than when their status changes, like in this man’s case.
I’m sure this man’s parents grieved their child’s loss of ‘normalcy.’
- But what he described was a phenomenal demonstration of what adequate and timely support did for him, in short—the laser focus on early intervention.
When asked WHEN he lost his sight he couldn’t answer the question!
Not because of a slow, insidious progression. It happened pretty fast.
It’s because his parents took immediate, proactive action.
They did what I talk about in my book MASTERS OF CHANGE.
- They treated reality as reality—didn’t deny, delay, or try to debunk it.
They educated themselves on what was happening and took immediate action to mitigate the fallout.
They put adaptations and accommodations in place that counteracted his awareness of his limitations.
- This altered his experience so well that what was true (he was going blind) didn’t traumatize him.
It began with him using a magnifying glass and eventually resulted in using a white cane.
They accepted what they could not control and took control where possible.
They acted on reality regardless of how much they didn’t want it to be true.
Because his family apparently seamlessly adapted to their new reality, this man’s transition into a new identity seems to be as good as it gets.
- Another principle of mastering change his family used was support.
Everyone in this man’s world was on board with how to support him.
AND they kept ahead of the curve, finding new ways as his condition progressed.
This is a shining example of what happens when everyone on your team ENSURES they help make the best of it.
It demonstrates the epitome of what support and accepting reality can look like.
IMPORTANT ADDENDUM:
Everyone responds to catastrophic events the best they can, based on many factors.
Those who take longer to grieve and accept reality are not “doing worse” than others or “doing it wrong.” Everyone’s journey is perfect and unique.
—.—
For another example of an incredible journey of quick acceptance and adaptation to becoming blind, check out my podcast interview with Jay Walker.
https://open.spotify.com/
--Julie
Like this post? Hit 👍
Love it? Leave a comment ✍️
Think others should read it? Share ♻️
