Out-of-the-box self-care essentials

Here’s an unsurprising and seriously underutilized basic concept I share with people I coach.

These are people whose world turned upside down after a catastrophic medical diagnosis.

The concept is about prioritizing self-care.

• Because you're pushed into a forced identity transition and you have to DO and BE different, self-care sets you up for this monumental journey.

Apart from taking on new and unexpected responsibilities that disrupt your normal routines you’re also grieving.

You’ve lost the dream of how your life was going to be.

Among other changes it’s injected fear, uncertainty, and possibly robbing you of hope.

Here are three ways to promote self-care under these circumstances:

— Measure productivity differently.

— Get support.

— Process grief.

Learn to give yourself slack around what’s actually possible to get done, now your life’s fundamentally different.

This means letting go without guilt.

• Your reality has changed so too, your expectations and standards around what you can do need to change.

If you intentionally allow for what’s important to shift without guilt you’ll have less stress and more ease.

One way to still cover all your bases is to enlist support in new ways.

This may feel like a stretch but stretching is how we make our lives better.

Enlisting support changes relational dynamics and this can be challenging.

But it’s worth the challenge and it’s necessary in order for you to adapt to all your new responsibilities.

Support comes in many forms and while seeking it you’ll likely form new relationships.

Some of these will be around the third self-care principle—processing emotional pain around trauma and loss.

It might seem like an oxymoron, but the more your pain is acknowledged and witnessed in a supportive way the more it transforms and loosens control over your life.

Facing your grief doesn’t make it more real. It’s already there.

So part of self-care is intentionally scheduling time to touch what’s hurting.

• In these cases, sometimes strangers can support us in our grief better than family members.

I invite you to find those who can support you deeply as you create your happier, healthier new normal.

Let me know what out-of-the-box self-care activities you’ve found essential.

—Julie