One of the most important things I teach parents with a child with a catastrophic medical diagnosis is to treat reality as reality.

What does that mean?

When things aren’t the way we want them to be, sometimes we try to twist reality.

We may:

— Pretend what is ISN’T really as it is.

— Get on a hamster wheel coming up with reasons it SHOULDN’T be as it is.

— DENY and ignore reality.

These are just some of the ways we unnecessarily deplete precious time and energy.

They’re coping mechanisms to deal with reality when there’s just too much pain and uncertainty.

And there are better ways.

Here are three ways to cope more effectively that help you face reality head on:

1. Lower expectations

2. Measure productivity differently

3. Take time to grieve.

Life isn’t now, and may never be, as it was before.

With a serious medical condition the individual’s current lifestyle changes. Their life trajectory changes.

The trick here is to lower expectations to match reality WHILE keeping...

I read a Facebook post where a person talked about not letting her disease define her.

It reminded me of how far I’ve come.

My health challenges, that started when I was 21, used to take center stage. They definitely defined me.

I haven’t overcome my health challenges.

I still adapt every minute of every day because of them but they no longer take up center stage.

These were my remarks to the post :

• “It’s been so long since I looked at my medical fragilities straight in the face.
• I’d forgotten how I spent years allowing them to define my life, until at some point I stopped letting them define my life.
• I took over how I defined my life and it’s a great freedom when we do this.
• Thanks for reminding me of this wisdom and strength I had.”

For parents with a child with a catastrophic medical diagnosis it may feel all but impossible not to define yourself around your caretaker role. Around your circumstances.

I’m here to tell you it’s possible to put yourself back in the pictu...

I wonder if the way we train students to learn is shortsighted?

Does it become an unhelpful, ingrained way of living?

In school, we’re rewarded for upholding expectations by following the syllabus and striving for a great final grade.

• But how is outlining everything in advance leaving room for organic growth, curiosity, and innovation?

I wonder if this kind of schooling later contributes to so many people’s reluctance to go off course?

Explore?

Take risks?

Become someone unimaginable?

Does it put us in a straight jacket?

I’m pretty sure we miss out on SO much because of these kinds of predetermined outcomes.

There are different ways to teach and learn.

Ways that encourage curiosity, exploration, and walking blindfolded into the wilderness, aspiring to discover what’s there and be changed because of it.

• When we prepackage value based on already discovered outcomes we miss a freedom that leads to amazing insights and experiences.

There was once a wonderful humanitari...

Wherever I’m heading – I don’t want to be there.

Today I was driving on the first ugly road since moving to Portland a month ago.

It was a bunch of industrial buildings, few trees, and hideous road repair for miles on end.

Driving back from my destination I couldn’t take it anymore. Traffic light after traffic light jammed with miles of traffic.

I took a right turn.

I didn’t check my GPS I just went off course because where I was heading wasn't my final destination anyway.

Sometimes in life, we need to go off course even if we don’t have a map.

• As long as we know we no longer want to be going in the direction we’re heading, it’s time to change course.

First make the decision.

Then figure out how you’re going to get to where you’re going next.

Believe it or not, we CAN take a few turns without instructions.

We can make decisions without consulting ChatGPT. Or Yelp. Or … anything.

Decide first then figure it out.

If you allow uncertainty to be okay, you’ll be amazed at w...

Lots of people say they’re stuck because they lack ideas.

Others say it’s because they can’t choose among their thousand ideas.

They say they’re stuck because they don’t know which to pick.

… “What if I pick the wrong one?”…

… “What if I waste my money, time, social capital, etc.?”

… “What if I’m wrong?”

But what they’re silently saying:

— “I’m scared to vote on myself.”

— “My desires don’t count enough to bet on.”

So they never make a decision and get in motion.

• Fear, indecision, and feeling undeserving stops them in their tracks.

Potential stays out of reach.

More happiness stays out of reach.

Days, weeks, years disappear into lives of discontent.

Turn lives stagnant.

Hiding behind the thousand options… they let those keep them stuck.

They let insecurities and lack of self-worth keep them stuck.

What if the thing keeping you on this side of change is lacking the courage to choose one option and move forward, regardless of outcome?

And what if the key to having ...

Are you caught in a vortex of details that never form a useful whole?

Endlessly spinning around in your head?

Trusting in your ability to figure things out is a skill you can create by taking action before you feel ready.

Before details of your aspiration are worked into a coherent, useful whole.

What’s that look like?

How do I get out of a vortex of beautiful ideas?

By:

— Having the willingness to do it messy.

— Showing up knowing you’re good not great. Knowing good’s good enough.

— Knowing you don’t have to have “arrived,” reached guruhood, become The expert to lead others. If you’re just a few steps ahead you can start helping others. And this isn’t fraud!

— You don’t have to have clarity before taking action. Taking action creates clarity needed to get out of the vortex.

— You don’t have to have excellence before being effective. Taking action leads to growth towards excellence.

— Not trying to serve everyone. Not worrying about those you’re NOT serving. Focus on creati...

I remember the lightbulb moment when I realized I could CHOOSE to see the glass as either half empty or half full.

When I realized I wasn’t negating any realities if I chose the half full viewpoint.

NOR was I being pollyannaish.

I wrote about this in my book — Masters of Change — a shift that forced me into an unexpected identity transition.

A positive one .. versus others where I LOST cherished identities.

Seeing the glass as half full is an important mindset choice when faced with adversity and change.

It helps lower stress and avoid unnecessary suffering regardless of circumstances.

Regardless of the half empty part of the equation.

Life rarely provides a vacuum of problems and respite from problems is a moving target.

Seeking refuge from struggle is living a half life.

I believe we’re here to strive for happiness and learn from pain and struggle.

And that struggle doesn’t equate to suffering.

But since they hold hands we may flee from both.

AND .. it’s through struggle...

In the depths of despair we find our greatest strength and in the face of adversity .. hope shines the brightest.

Hope, I’ve learned, isn’t a passive dream but a powerful force.

A guiding light through the darkest of times.

It’s the quiet voice that whispers
“Keep Going…”

when every cell in your body screams
“I JUST CAN’T!!”

Hope is seeing the strength in our loved one’s smile the resilience in their eyes … even if hidden deep deep behind sad or scared eyes.

Hope is knowing no matter how arduous the journey .. we’re not alone.

And while hope is real ..

and it’s powerful ..

hope doesn’t deny the reality of struggle nor promise an easy journey.

It’s because of this that it’s safe to hope.

And ..

It’s our universal, equal access gift, there to guide individuals and humanity back to center.

What do you do to keep hope alive in the midst of tremendous struggle?

I focus on what I’m learning from the pain and fear.

Julie Browne, Speaker, Author  

MASTERS of CHANGE

#Li...

Staying unclear on who we really are is convenient for others.

It’s staying in the comfort zone.

Staying on the far side of possibility.

• But we're not born to fit into places we do not belong.

Finding where we belong — what intentions and actions light us up.. give us fuel to meet each day with purpose and enthusiasm — is built into our DNA.

We can settle for comfort, for mediocrity or strive for satisfaction.

What choice are you making?

What leaps have you taken lately?

My latest leap is public speaking.

I did my first presentation on my passion topic — Mastering the Daunting Life with a Catastrophic Medical Diagnosis.

I showed up and presented before I was ready.

I knew I’d be good enough.

Knew I’d clear the gap.

Now it’s about improving and refining.

It’s downhill from here.

But downhill doesn’t mean not failing. It’s failing forward.

It’s like hiking the 11 miles ALL downhill on the east side of Mt. Whitney.

Not every step is easy.

It requires a different ki...

If you’re not complacent, not satisfied with past wins, if you’re working to level up, become a higher version of yourself, this is for you.

Thinking, feeling, AND doing is how to manifest your dreams.

• Planning only gets you so far.

Over the years I’ve learned this is SO true.

And I learned it the hard way.

I was maybe too methodical in setting up my career. I have TWO masters degrees in planning. lol …

Now I know, while planning is valuable, it can:

1. only get you so far and

2. even stop you in your tracks because it can be endless.

It’s much better (for many things, not everything) to:

— plan some,

— then implement,

— bake in ongoing evaluation, and

— iterate while in motion.

—.—

A tip about becoming that’s helped me tremendously:

• Make the decisions you’d make if you were already that person / in that position.

That takes courage.

It requires investments you’re not yet sure will pay off.

• What’s an investment you’re reluctant to make but think it would
...